utterly meaningless

It seams like every time I write, I end up writing about the same things over and over again. I guess it's what weighs so heavily on my heart. I can't help wondering how people live without thinking of their meaning or purpose; what they want to accomplish or get out of life. Maybe it's because thinking of things like this can get so overwhelming it can become a burden too heavy to bear. I can't help thinking I'm the only one who thinks about things like this, and that I'm a weirdo for it. Doesn't anyone else feel like there's more to life than going to school, getting a degree, getting a job, having a family, seeing them grow up, learning and then dying? I read Ecclesiastes, and I honestly don't really get it. I think Solomon was trying to come to terms with these same issues. I just don't get how everything is vanity and meaningless. What's more astounding is that this book was inspired by the Holy Spirit, it's not just a person's opinion, it's truth. My mom once said that this book explains that life without God is meaningless, and I believe that, but sometimes I feel like Solomon when he says, "So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." If I don't work to glorify God than why do I work? It's meaningless. If i don't eat to glorify God why to I eat? It's meaningless. If I seek to do what is right but do not glorify God in the process, what's the point of striving for it, it's meaningless. But what if I do all of these things, and live my life to the glory of God? What meaning does my life hold then? And how do I do everything I do to the glory of God? I don't know how to live for him, I only know how to live for myself and I'm so sick of it. I wish I could forget about myself for a change, that God would love and trust and live through me. I want to do something meaningful with my life, something that will last forever, but I don't know what. It seams like reality is clouded by a mirage of duties, expectations, responsibilities and worldly ideologies on the meaning of my life. This sucks!